The Stranger

A Warmer Place Than Hell

2009-10-23T03:12:00.000-07:00

I used to hate Bob Dylan. Funny what one song can do. Day before yesterday, if you had asked me if i like Dylan, i would have said a resounding "no!" without a moment's hesitation. My one resignation would be "Everbody Must Get Stoned," Cuz how can you disagree with a statement like that? Then POOF! out of nowhere a bolt of lightening hits my musical sensibilities and i hear "If You See Her, Say Hello". Instantly i'm a fan.

You could have played me anything off Highway 61 and i, in my most sincerest way, have told you to go shove your 30-years-too-late anti-war, liberal bullshit up affluent hipster ass. But then i discovered Dylan's love songs. Fuck his pseudo-intellectual early 60s material. I wanna know where his heart is, not his vote.

And it's the most simple, benign shit that i connect with. I suppose cliches are cliches for a reason. The lost love, the missed connection, the stuff that has filled small-town personals ads for decades. It's all here in one simple idea--that every once in a while, it's not only worth feeling pain, but it's probably healthy.

You can live your life sheltered, with some tacky-ass birthday clown smile plastered on your face like a botox'd Mr. Potato head, or you can pull your head out of the sand, take a look around and realize your life ain't perfect. Stop worrying about the whales, or the starving children in africa, or even that bum who pisses on your stoop every morning. They're not worth your time. They've been here long before you got here, they'll be here long after you've left, in some form or another. Pay them no mind. You can't control whatever pain their feeling.

What you need to do is take your pain in, synthesize it in your most creative way, be it writing, music, art or even fucking the piss out of the first attractive thing that catches your eye. I guarantee that whatever you end up creating will not only be "better", but also much more satisfying to look back on.

This may all seem obvious. But you'd be surprised how many people i see holding it in. More often than not, they come off as the happiest people on earth. No one's happy. That's why we're still alive. If we were perfectly content, there'd be no reason to exist.

When you find your reason to exist, you will die. So, please, for your sake and the sake of all those who have to put up with your ugly mug on a daily basis, feel pain. And use it to find your reason for dying.

Yes S.I.R (Songs In Review) - Gwen Stefani "Wind It Up" (2006)

2009-04-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

(after a rummage through the archives, i found this old review i had done. Decided to post it here for your pleasure!)

I'm not going to deny it. This song could in fact be the single worst song of 2006. Yes, folks. I'm serious.

Gwen Stefani's "Wind It Up" is not an infectious pop anthem, as many have already deemed it so. How people find enjoyment in a ska-punk girl gone wrong is beyond comprehension, especially when she decides to open her album with yodeling.

Among the four writing credits for the song are: Hammerstein, O. and Rodgers, R.--Flip it around; what do you get? Rodgers and bloody Hammerstein, one of the most renowned musical theater duos in history. What part did they play in writing Gwen Stefani's new fiasco? Well… let’s just say that being dead is quite possibly a greater blessing than any royalty these two could have received from this single. At least now, any part they have in this song is not by choice. But wait, it gets Better!

The Neptunes, a rap/hip-hop duo from Virginia Beach played a heavy roll in producing Stefani's first album Love.Angel.Music.Baby (yes, that is L.A.M.B). On her second, The Sweet Escape (God, please let it be from the album), they produced five of the 12 tracks, including the single "Wind it Up." Somehow, they obtained the rights to Rodgers and Hammerstein's The Sound of Music and sampled the musical (specifically the song "The Lonely Goatherd") in "Wind it Up," giving the song an impression of intelligence, no matter how contrived it may be (which, for a song this asinine, was an expert move).

The lyrics themselves are pedestrian at best, mind-numbingly idiotic, often crossing the line to down-right silly. With such lines as "And the boys all look, but no, they can't touch/But the girls want to know why the boys like us so much" it's a wonder that Stefani has any sort of career at all.

Dance-pop giants like Goldfrapp can take the quasi-heroin chic look and put a fine satin finish on it, making it look sleek, sexy and professional. Gwen Stefani, and her “self-proclaimed Michelle Pfieffer in Scarface ‘coke whore’ makeover”*, make her look dried up and trashy, simply calling attention to herself in an incredibly banal “My career is fizzling, look at me before I vanish” sort of way. If she can give off the image of being a heavy drug user, then she can sell records. Either way she doesn’t have much time left (see images below)

Hopefully, for everyone's sake, they'll make a music rehab where Ms. Hollaback Girl can be sent, get pumped full of early '90s ska-punk and sent on her way like the big, dumb media clown she is.

Alison Goldfrapp

Sleek, Sexy, Not Gwen Stefani
vs.
Gwen Stefani

Hey...wait a minute...I thought people got skinnny when using heroin. Oh, right. Well I suppose you do have to actually be using to feel its effects.

Now go watch some Goldfrapp and BE EDUCATED!
"Ooh La La"

Review 1: (album) The Mooney Suzuki - Alive & Amplified (2004)

2009-04-09T05:28:00.000-07:00

The Band:
The Mooney Suzuki
Formed - 1996 in NYC
Genre(s) - Garage, Rock, Blues, Punk, Pop
Members - Sammy James Jr. (Lead Vox, Guitar, Percussion), Graham Tyler (Lead Guitar, Vox, Percussion), Augie Wilson (Drums, Percussion, Vox), Michael Miles (Bass, Percussion, Vox)

The Album:
Alive & Amplified
Realase Date - August 24, 2004
Length: 40:58
Label: Columbia
Producer: The Matrix

All songs written by Sammy James Jr. and Graham Tyler except where noted

1. "Primitive Condition" – 4:18
2. "Alive & Amplified" (James Jr., Tyler, Graham Edwards, Scott Spock, and Lauren Christy) – 3:04
3. "Legal High" (James Jr., Tyler, Edwards, Spock, and Christy) – 2:50
4. "New York Girls" (James Jr., Tyler, Edwards, Spock, and Christy) – 3:55
5. "Shake That Bush Again" – 3:38
6. "Sometimes Somethin'" – 4:39
7. "Loose 'n' Juicy" – 3:11
8. "Hot Sugar" – 3:22
9. "Messin' in the Dressin' Room" – 3:47
10. "Naked Lady" – 8:05

The Review:

Short'n'Sweet:
Pros - Raging rock music, that often packs a punch, great driving music, killer production, some cool subtle arrangement choices to listen for
Cons - Chock full'o'filler, often-corny lyrics of almost nothing but sex innuendos, mostly predictable

Songs to Skip:
+ Track 3 - "Legal High": Not a terrible song, it's just nothing new or interesting and has all these weird volume shifts that throw off the song's momentum

+ Track 6 - "Sometimes Somethin'": a lousy acoustic ballad, with predictable "your life is hard but don't worry lyrics". Bummer that it's the longest song on the record

Songs to Play Over and Over:
+ Track 1 - "Primitive Condition": Kicking off brief guitar hum, "Primitive Condition" punches the unwary listener in the face, reminding them "Don't crank the volume till you know what to expect." By the time the upbeat blues riff that makes up the bulk of the song kicks in, the listener decides--Let's play this shit loud! This opener to the album is perfect driving music, with a sickly-sweet chorus of harmonies, held-out guitar chords (pumped through a raunchy blues distortion) and pounding drums with more crashes than an iced-over Autobahn. This song begs for air drummers to whip out their invisible sticks.

+ Track 2 - "Alive & Amplified": The rock doesn't let up yet, oh no, for the next track is the title track, which begins with a kickin' decending line into a big chord, and a count in that says "Get ready for something big." The promise doesn't disappoint, as the song immediately dives into a wailing gospel choir lifted straight from Marc Bolan's bag'o'tricks. The wild, half-spoken lyrics during the verses come as a surprise, adding a frantic sense of necessity to an already racing song. It doesn't hurt that the lyrics encourage this with badly hidden innuendos ("Got hot licks on ya guitar strings") but don't expect anything particularly memorable in that area of the song. The best part is the chorus, with it's whacky falsetto that'd make Justin Hawkins bow in respect. It might seem silly and obnoxious, but after a couple of repetitions you just can't help but join in.

+ Track 5 - "Shake That Bush Again": Another sexual rock number with a hooky chorus. No news here, but you just can't stop singing that chorus. This song is like off-brand soda. It's really not that good, but you just can't stop drinking it! (heard in Burnout 3: Takedown for the Playstation 2)

All in all this album straddles the line between Good and Forgettable. It has it's moments, and those ones will start racking up "play count" numbers in your iTunes library, but don't expect a magical album that'll change your life. If you want that, go grab their 2002 record, Electric Sweat.

And check out the psychadelic-influenced video for the single, "Alive & Amplified" right here!

What it Takes

2009-04-09T05:11:00.000-07:00

I submit to you--Music will survive till time's twilight hour, fulfilling dreams and fantasies, supplying a soundtrack to one's romance, regret or redemption. Only one who does not feel can deny the power of music.

But in a close second comes the power of the written word, so fluid and formless. It will burn it's essence into your psyche and never let itself be forgotten, much like music. One can't deny their bond, music and words.

So why not, then, continue on in that tradition by writing about music?

SO--Welcome one and all to The Rock Word, an online blog dedicated to the review of Rock (of all forms) albums, concerts, dvds, books, and whatever else might be out there. As selfish as it may be, picking what I, the writer, feel most fit to review, i also feel like i might be improving your life (or at least your taste in music) by introducing you, the reader, to something that you may not already be away of.

You need nothing to lose yourself in my words, just as you need nothing to lose yourself in your favourite song. You have what it takes--shall we?